Chastity

Did you know that the contemporary chastity belt has many modern features? Rust free stainless steel, foam padding, laser cut safe edges and high technology locks. On the other hand, one of my male friends assures me his messy bedroom is a sure deterrent to any sexual activity! It’s not just the practise of chastity that is a challenge today however, it’s the very concept.                                                                        

The purity ring was launched in the USA in the 1990s. The idea was that wearing the ring was a reminder of the young person’s pledge to be chaste. In Singapore just a few weeks ago a campaign promoting abstinence was launched. Their freebie was a wrist band with the inscription ‘worth waiting for’. These campaigns and others have been initiated by Christians. Here in Britain, the Catholic Church similarly promotes chastity amongst its young people. But why?

I’ve done a lot of work in secondary schools, and I remember distinctly the day I told a sixth form group that myself and my fiancé would go no further than kissing. I was marvelled at as if I was a member of an alien species.

Our culture is such that young people rarely hear of any alternative to a sexually active lifestyle. Of course, the danger of gimmick focussed campaigns is that wearing a ring or wristband may not reflect a well thought through lifestyle decision. However, I have learnt from experience, that when given honest answers to their questions about chastity, many young people will seriously consider it.

We have a cultural ‘norm’, and I would say this involves something of a reversed taboo as far as sex is concerned. Outside of talking about monks and nuns, chastity is an unspoken word. There is no kudos in being a virgin. Magazines rarely report on how not to sleep with your partner, and clothes are rarely designed to promote platonic relationships. Too often, sexually active young people are weighed down by this peer pressure. They can be driven by their need to experience love and acceptance, and their lifestyle choices can be a symptom of low self esteem.

Young people need to be reminded of their dignity and affirmed in their power to make positive choices. Saving yourself for a life-long sexual partner is psychologically, spiritually and physically the healthiest decision they could ever make. Chastity then, is about embracing sexuality and sex, not rejecting it, but choosing to express it in the most life-giving context.

Today, each of us, young or old, can choose to be chaste. It’s not just about sexual abstinence but the valuing of oneself and others so highly that you want to respect and protect them as a precious gift.

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Image from: www.god411.com

This was written by Emily Davis who is a Life4seekers Team Member. It was broadcast on BBC Radio 2's, Pause For Thought, earlier this year.