Life4seekers

New Year, New... Leg Warmers?

New Year, New... Leg Warmers?

So, how many of you were given leg warmers this Christmas? And how many of you are willing to admit that you’re slightly disappointed you weren’t? Just in case, like me, you’re not always on the ball with the latest trends in fashion, apparently,1980s’ leg warmers, those things that look like the cut off sleeves of baggy jumpers, and give one’s legs the look of, perhaps a pastel pink shire horse, these leg warmers are trying very hard to make a come back.

It strikes me as my housemates do their best to drag me up to date, that there’s nothing much to date about it, rather there’s a lot of revisiting of what’s gone before. There’s that saying, isn’t there, that there’s nothing new in the world, and our national obsession with retro fashion is often proof of this maxim.

But, this is not a critique of the fashion industry. On the contrary, I see it as a positive thing. If baggy jumper sleeves once kept the shins of young people warm, why should they not do so again? And this time… we could make sure they’re accessible to all ages, and we could become a nation of warm-shinned people.

On a more serious not though, if leg warmers tell us anything, perhaps it’s that by looking back, we can plan more effectively for the future.

There’s a Catholic tradition of reflection at the end of the day, which could be useful here. It’s a review of where we’ve been and what we’ve done. It involves recalling significant events, people and places, and the feelings that come with those memories. The idea is that we become more aware of moments where God has been present with us, and aware of the gifts and benefits that we’ve received. This same exercise could help us look over 2007, and think what is that we want to hold on to as we begin 2008? What do we want to revisit?

In the Catholic Church this year we spent Advent, which is effectively the month of December, encouraging those who no longer come to Church, to give it some thought again. We were recognising that often change happens in our lives without us having consciously chosen it, and it can be so easy just to let things drift.

So as you look back, what is it from the last year that has been significant and positive that you want to hold onto? Or is there something you realise you’ve lost, that perhaps wasn’t present over the last twelve months, and that you want to re-find?

I’m sure some of you at this point are thinking yes – it’s time to pull my 1987 leg warmers from the bottom of my underwear draw. Well, whatever it is that comes to mind, lets hold on to what’s been positive, not for the sake of living in the past, but for the sake of enriching our future.

This contribution was written by Emily Davis, who is a member of the Life4seekers Team. It was broadcast on BBC Radio Two on New Year's Eve 2007.

Bereavement

There is perhaps no greater sorrow than dealing with the reality of personal loss. Death can seem such a finite thing and the vacuum left by someone's parting can become a cross too hard to bear. Grieving is an unpredictable process; one moment we can feel happy as we remember a treasured moment shared with our loved one, another time we can be overcome by grief as our heart seems to break. As time passes the emotions become less extreme and we learn to live with the gap left by that person's parting. But that's not the end of the story, or is it?

I received the sad news that a young friend of mine died last month. My immediate reaction was shock, followed by deep sadness and sorrow. Questions followed such as, "Why was she taken so young?" She had so much promise, so much to give and experience. It all doesn't make any sense.

The death of Jesus Christ on a cross didn't make any sense. He was young, gifted and loved. He spent his life giving to others in a perfectly unselfish way. His death didn't make any sense and was one of the greatest scandals of all time, but his death was not the end. As a historical fact, three days after his death, he rose again from the dead and promised that everyone who believed in him would receive eternal life, that physical death is not the end.

When I reflect on the significance of this in light of my own experiences of loss, this is a great source of hope and consolation. I cling to this teaching of Jesus with all my heart because this means that I will, by God's grace, be united with those who have already journeyed on towards the light of God. This is one of the greatest hopes of all those who are Christian. This hope is a major part of our faith. What and who do you believe in?

During the month of November, in the Catholic tradition, we remember and pray for all our dead in a special way. We believe that after death, our eternal journey continues and that we can support our loved ones through our prayers. The dead are also able to pray to God for us at our request. One of the most popular prayers for the dead that Catholics say is: "Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them, may they rest in peace. AMEN." The word 'AMEN' means 'so be it'. May all of our loved ones and friends rest in the peace and love of God: so be it. Collectively, this makes sense of death.

For more see: www.life4seekers.co.uk

This was written by Clare Ward who is a member of the Life4seekers team.

Image: www.radiantlight.org.uk

Failure

Young People And Failure

I remember clearly the day I got my Alevel results. In the hall of my school, in the company of lots of class-mates, I opened my envelope. My heart sank as I read the results which were all about 3 grades lower than I’d expected. I was gutted and I was confused. But then, as I re-scanned the paper, it seemed to tell me I’d sat exams that I hadn’t studied for, which was strange, and…hang on a minute, the name at the top wasn’t even mine…these weren’t my results at all!

Somewhere else in the room, the girl with the same initials as me was opening up my results.

It was incredibly embarrassing for both us, but fortunately for me I walked away with relieved.

Before and since then, I have however tasted the bitterness of not succeeding as I’d hoped…and of outright failing. Driving tests. Job interviews. Relationships. And all these have raised questions about what motivates me. I like to think I’m motivated to achieve goals, or simply do my best. But I have a feeling that’s often mixed up with wanting to gain status or to be appreciated.

So what happens when our self image, or our reputation hang on our achievements? When things don’t work out, the temptation can be to keep it quiet. Or, to jack it all in and start over. To reinvent ourselves…preferably somewhere where people don’t know how we’ve under-achieved.

Thousands of young people are under imense pressure. When they receive their exam results, not only does their future hang in the balance, but possibly the good opinion of their parents and teachers. 

In concern for some of the young people I work with in a faith context, I wonder what happens for them when they make mistakes, not just failing exams, but mistakes they think don’t fit with church? Or what happens when they experience doubt? How do they cope? Who do they turn to? I would hate to think that because I’ve tried to present an image of myself that’s all sorted, I may have communicated that there’s no room for failure and difficulty.

Mother Teresa once said ‘We are not called to be successful, we are called to be faithful.’ And she trusted in a God whom she knew as Father, whose unconditional love wouldn’t be affected by her mistakes.

Surely she was right – it’s not all about success. Faithfulness to the gifts and opportunities we’ve been given is far more important. And that includes the opportunity we all have to pick ourselves up and start again. And the opportunity we have to exercise grace, by having an unconditional, positive regard for ourselves as well as others, regardless of success and failure. May you and those around you have a grace-filled day.

*The above was written by Emily Davis and was presented on BBC Radio Two's, 'Pause For Thought'.

Image from: www.istockphoto.com